Well we did it! Lil' Dude and I have made it to our 14-year anniversary, this weekend. I am sitting here having a celebratory beverage or two listening to "The Flame" by Cheap Trick and started reminiscing about the years. It was 14 short years ago that I made the monumental decision to purchase the truck and to move far away from home, family and friends to a place where I knew no one. Don't be thinking I am all hard a** or anything. The original plan was I was only going to be gone one year, then I would come home. Well, it is now a standing joke that this has been the longest year in all of history.
As it turns out, this weekend is also the anniversary of the last time I was potentially close to being in a relationship. I know..... I know! Timing has always been an issue with me. Decide to move to another province and pretty much the same day, start a relationship with someone who for various reasons had to stay behind. There was the possibility of long distance relationship but I mistakenly did what I do best.... I pointed out the holes in the plan and then proceeded to provide "the guy" with reasons why I thought he would benefit from some time alone to develop his character a little more. Tears ensued that night.... his, not mine. That night also delivered the patented end of July storm that seems to hit the Prairies every year around the same time. Lil' Dude, although tough, could not withstand the baseball-sized hail and suffered greatly for my parents lack of usable garage space. Funny, I cried over the truck but not the guy. Hmm, interesting bit of foreshadowing and really explains why the relationship wasn't meant to be.
A reminiscing session would not be complete without a montage of classic moments:
- There was the time I went driving out on a deserted back-road highway on a sunny winter day, enjoying the moment, only to feel like something is wrong with the Dude. Stop, get out and check the tires, go to get back in.... but wait. Nuts locked the keys in the truck with it running. Luckily, I had for some reason brought my spare keys with me and had them on my person, so a tragedy was averted that day.
- I was not so lucky one May-long weekend when I locked my keys in the truck while I was washing it at a Car Wash on the edge of town. However, I had my wallet with me and could pay for a taxi ride back to my apartment. That is where my luck ran out. The caretaker was not around and I had to rely on the creepy basement dweller- not only for a ride back to the truck, but for use of his CAA card to get the keys out. There were a couple of minutes when I thought he was driving me off to a deserted area, to do lord knows what, but I lucked out and it did not end up being a Breaking News at 11 story. He hinted that I could repay him by going out for coffee. I reciprocated by buying the largest coffee basket known to man-kind and left it at his door.
- Then there was that time that I thought that I had locked my keys in the truck. Had CAA open the truck, only to find out I had the keys on my person the whole time! Man, I have a lot of locked myself out of the truck stories. Stands to reason, as keys and I do not jive.
- How about the time I asked out a guy who I thought was a safe bet, as I was not really interested in him, but wanted to get back on the dating horse. TOTAL and UTTER DISASTER!!!! Here I was thinking that it really didn't matter what his response was. So very wrong! When he left me a voice mail where you could hear the palpable panic in his voice saying he was "busy..... yeah, yeah that's it I have some plans with friends.... uhhhh yeah plans. Sorry can't go to the movies!!!!!! Seriously you could almost hear him crapping his pants as he was speaking. I don't mind rejection but when the person leaves you with the impression that they are seriously considering joining the witness protection program, I don't care who you are..... it hurts! I don't know how guys put themselves out there on a regular basis. Me? Lesson learned and never repeated.
- Annual trips driving back to the Prairies with various members of the fur herd have resulted in some endearing moments. One of my favorite memories is when Gidget (the cat) stalked over and raised her paw to my mouth to silence me during my rousing rendition of "Jessie's Girl". Or how about the classic question from the Border Guard- "Are you traveling alone?" Okay your saying that really is not a ridiculous question. In most instances I would agree with you, but in this case the dog was sitting in the passenger seat. What I felt like saying was "Yes, I make all my guests ride in the cramped jump seats in the back, so the dog can have the spacious front seat." REALLY! You have to wonder sometimes.
- How about driving around the Prairie country-side to collect photographic evidenc
e that the Prairies are not totally flat. - Or transporting an illegally acquired Gnome over the Border and around the Prairies. Don't worry the Gnome was not harmed and was eventually returned to his owners.
- The unmistakable way the Dude tends to break-down directly proceeding my Dad driving him. Really I have heard of not liking your in-laws but never thought that would apply to vehicles.
- My short lived attempt at on-line dating. Really I want to offer seminars to guys on how to write a profile and select profile pictures. It is called proof reading and spell check!!!!! If your picture was taken by the police...... don't use it in your profile. Along that note, pictures of you with your black-eye and busted lip really do not say.... "Hey there is a stand-up guy.... I want him, I need him."
- I have been lucky over the years that the Dude has served as a sanctuary while I waited for others. I am not just talking about a minute wait here or there. I am talking about a half- hour to hour wait for my Dad to return from hauling grain or to be finished with that last little bit of swathing. There is something tranquil about reclining the seat of your vehicle, putting your feet up on the dash and listening to your favorite tunes. It is the perfect time to let your creative side shine and figure-out the shapes the clouds are making, sing your favorite songs such the Highwaymen classic "Jim, Jim" which I feel I have improved with my version.... "Jim............ Jim, Jimjim....... Jim" (no matter what my brother says) or to invent favorite stories like "African Bill "the Pole Jumper"- Takes on the Slew".
- Tail-gate parties with the lil' Cross-Country skiers.
- And most recently...... Picture it, I am getting ready to go into the Bank to pay some bills when I spot this guy walking across the parking lot. He has his hand in his pocket searching for his keys. He is searching and searching and searching. Really, his arm was in that pocket up to his elbow. It was taking so long I started wondering what he had in his pocket to take him so long to find what he was looking for. For a moment I was mesmerized. Then I got out and headed into the bank. While standing in line, a breathless lady got in line behind me. She asks "Do you own a blue Ford truck?" Affirmative. "Well it is rolling across the parking lot.". I, B-line it out of the bank only to find the Pocket Digger holding the truck in place with another guy. After many shame-faced "Thank-you's " I head back into the bank, wishing the truck wasn't as distinctive as it is. I can just hear Pocket Digger now..... "Hey, man that's the truck that I stopped from reeking havoc in the parking lot of the Mall." Yup- Pocket Digger by day..... Super Truck Stopper by night!
Good-times, good-times! So now you know the real reason I must find a new vehicle..... I must escape embarrassing moments from the past.
Thank-you Lil' Dude for 14 great years! In the words of the immortal Pat Benatar "We belong to the night.... we belong to each other" or at least until I find a replacement incognito vehicle.
Tune in next blog
Same Ranger time
Same Ranger station
