Happy Anniversary Darling!

Well we did it! Lil' Dude and I have made it to our 14-year anniversary, this weekend. I am sitting here having a celebratory beverage or two listening to "The Flame" by Cheap Trick and started reminiscing about the years. It was 14 short years ago that I made the monumental decision to purchase the truck and to move far away from home, family and friends to a place where I knew no one. Don't be thinking I am all hard a** or anything. The original plan was I was only going to be gone one year, then I would come home. Well, it is now a standing joke that this has been the longest year in all of history.

As it turns out, this weekend is also the anniversary of the last time I was potentially close to being in a relationship. I know..... I know! Timing has always been an issue with me. Decide to move to another province and pretty much the same day, start a relationship with someone who for various reasons had to stay behind. There was the possibility of long distance relationship but I mistakenly did what I do best.... I pointed out the holes in the plan and then proceeded to provide "the guy" with reasons why I thought he would benefit from some time alone to develop his character a little more. Tears ensued that night.... his, not mine. That night also delivered the patented end of July storm that seems to hit the Prairies every year around the same time. Lil' Dude, although tough, could not withstand the baseball-sized hail and suffered greatly for my parents lack of usable garage space. Funny, I cried over the truck but not the guy. Hmm, interesting bit of foreshadowing and really explains why the relationship wasn't meant to be.

A reminiscing session would not be complete without a montage of classic moments:

• There was the time I went driving out on a deserted back-road highway on a sunny winter day, enjoying the moment, only to feel like something is wrong with the Dude. Stop, get out and check the tires, go to get back in.... but wait. Nuts locked the keys in the truck with it running. Luckily, I had for some reason brought my spare keys with me and had them on my person, so a tragedy was averted that day.
• I was not so lucky one May-long weekend when I locked my keys in the truck while I was washing it at a Car Wash on the edge of town. However, I had my wallet with me and could pay for a taxi ride back to my apartment. That is where my luck ran out. The caretaker was not around and I had to rely on the creepy basement dweller- not only for a ride back to the truck, but for use of his CAA card to get the keys out. There were a couple of minutes when I thought he was driving me off to a deserted area, to do lord knows what, but I lucked out and it did not end up being a Breaking News at 11 story. He hinted that I could repay him by going out for coffee. I reciprocated by buying the largest coffee basket known to man-kind and left it at his door.
• Then there was that time that I thought that I had locked my keys in the truck. Had CAA open the truck, only to find out I had the keys on my person the whole time! Man, I have a lot of locked myself out of the truck stories. Stands to reason, as keys and I do not jive.
• How about the time I asked out a guy who I thought was a safe bet, as I was not really interested in him, but wanted to get back on the dating horse. TOTAL and UTTER DISASTER!!!! Here I was thinking that it really didn't matter what his response was. So very wrong! When he left me a voice mail where you could hear the palpable panic in his voice saying he was "busy..... yeah, yeah that's it I have some plans with friends.... uhhhh yeah plans. Sorry can't go to the movies!!!!!! Seriously you could almost hear him crapping his pants as he was speaking. I don't mind rejection but when the person leaves you with the impression that they are seriously considering joining the witness protection program, I don't care who you are..... it hurts! I don't know how guys put themselves out there on a regular basis. Me? Lesson learned and never repeated.
• Annual trips driving back to the Prairies with various members of the fur herd have resulted in some endearing moments. One of my favorite memories is when Gidget (the cat) stalked over and raised her paw to my mouth to silence me during my rousing rendition of "Jessie's Girl". Or how about the classic question from the Border Guard- "Are you traveling alone?" Okay your saying that really is not a ridiculous question. In most instances I would agree with you, but in this case the dog was sitting in the passenger seat. What I felt like saying was "Yes, I make all my guests ride in the cramped jump seats in the back, so the dog can have the spacious front seat." REALLY! You have to wonder sometimes.
• How about driving around the Prairie country-side to collect photographic evidence that the Prairies are not totally flat.
• Or transporting an illegally acquired Gnome over the Border and around the Prairies. Don't worry the Gnome was not harmed and was eventually returned to his owners.
• The unmistakable way the Dude tends to break-down directly proceeding my Dad driving him. Really I have heard of not liking your in-laws but never thought that would apply to vehicles.
• My short lived attempt at on-line dating. Really I want to offer seminars to guys on how to write a profile and select profile pictures. It is called proof reading and spell check!!!!! If your picture was taken by the police...... don't use it in your profile. Along that note, pictures of you with your black-eye and busted lip really do not say.... "Hey there is a stand-up guy.... I want him, I need him."
• I have been lucky over the years that the Dude has served as a sanctuary while I waited for others. I am not just talking about a minute wait here or there. I am talking about a half- hour to hour wait for my Dad to return from hauling grain or to be finished with that last little bit of swathing. There is something tranquil about reclining the seat of your vehicle, putting your feet up on the dash and listening to your favorite tunes. It is the perfect time to let your creative side shine and figure-out the shapes the clouds are making, sing your favorite songs such the Highwaymen classic "Jim, Jim" which I feel I have improved with my version.... "Jim............ Jim, Jimjim....... Jim" (no matter what my brother says) or to invent favorite stories like "African Bill "the Pole Jumper"- Takes on the Slew".
• Tail-gate parties with the lil' Cross-Country skiers.
• And most recently...... Picture it, I am getting ready to go into the Bank to pay some bills when I spot this guy walking across the parking lot. He has his hand in his pocket searching for his keys. He is searching and searching and searching. Really, his arm was in that pocket up to his elbow. It was taking so long I started wondering what he had in his pocket to take him so long to find what he was looking for. For a moment I was mesmerized. Then I got out and headed into the bank. While standing in line, a breathless lady got in line behind me. She asks "Do you own a blue Ford truck?" Affirmative. "Well it is rolling across the parking lot.". I, B-line it out of the bank only to find the Pocket Digger holding the truck in place with another guy. After many shame-faced "Thank-you's " I head back into the bank, wishing the truck wasn't as distinctive as it is. I can just hear Pocket Digger now..... "Hey, man that's the truck that I stopped from reeking havoc in the parking lot of the Mall." Yup- Pocket Digger by day..... Super Truck Stopper by night!

Good-times, good-times! So now you know the real reason I must find a new vehicle..... I must escape embarrassing moments from the past.

Thank-you Lil' Dude for 14 great years! In the words of the immortal Pat Benatar "We belong to the night.... we belong to each other" or at least until I find a replacement incognito vehicle.

Tune in next blog

Same Ranger time

Same Ranger station

You know what really chaps my asteriks?

It really bothers me when people have blogs and they don't update them..... sometimes for months. Really what is up with that?

Opps, guess I am busted! So I wish that I could report that the reason I have been tardy with writing is I have been jet-setting in my new vehicle, but alas that is not the case. In fact it would be closer to the truth to say the reason for my blog tardiness is my trusted chariot has left me stranded and I now require more time out of my day to hoof it around town, thus reducing time available keep the blog fires burning. At least Lil' Dude had the decency to get me back into town before starting his merengue-esque Cha Cha show through the streets of suburbia (the Mariachi Band featured in the picture is now on retainer). Let me tell you, there was a lot of dash rubbing and praying to the Good Lord and 50 of his closest peeps to safely manoeuvre across three lanes of busy traffic to the safe haven of The Spa, aka the Mechanic. At least my dire consequences provided Spa staff with some chuckles...... me with a grandiose entrance and graceful sweep of the arm

to place, neigh slam, the keys on the front desk, "It's official the truck hates me!!!! (Pause for dramatic effect) Here's the keys. I am walking home and when I get there I plan on drinking." (them) "What's the problem?" (me) "It started making this da, da, da, da noise, shaking profusely, the check engine light came on and it is stalling out in 1st gear." (okay, I admit, I acted out the truck movements and had sound effects.... my performance was Oscar worthy). I spun on my heel and left to the sounds of laughter bouncing off the walls and ceiling. Glad at least one person found amusement from the situation.

Flash forward 13 hours. I call The Spa to find out the prognosis...... (them) "It's running like a champ!" (me) "Did you say chump?.... What did you do to it?" (them) "Nothing. Started it up and it is purring like a kitten." (me) "Well it was shaking like a jack hammer yesterday, something is definitely wrong with it." (them) "Our suggestion is to drive it around and bring it back in if it does it again." (me) "Well I would prefer if you find out what is w

rong with it before then, as I don't want a repeat in the middle of nowhere, which is where I frequently drive to." ....... You can see where this is going can't you!!! So at my urging they provide the truck with some Rolfing, a little mani and pedi, changed some filters and low and behold he was ready for pick-up. I get in expecting the worst. Fingers crossed I start him up. Engine revved (check); forward motion (check, check) made it the 2 km's to my house without stalling or the need of a Mariachi band .... BONUS! Ten minutes later I get in it to head to the mall...... chug, chug, chug, a little Metro Station.... shake, shake, shake, shake-a-shake it and then engine light. Run back into the house call The Spa (they are now on speed dial). The solution- "Bring it in tomorrow."

Don't fret! Lil' Dude made it through his 30th surgery with flying colours. He is now convalescing and accepting get well wishes and gifts of fine 5W30 oil and power ste

ering fluid. Me- well, my fingers are getting sore from being held in the crossed position, but on the plus side I am getting really close to the Big Guy Upstairs..... we talk at least once

a day.......... sometimes three or four times.

So I hope this little nugget was worth the wait. I will endevour to be

more punctual with future blogs. I must be off, as I am going out to explore alternative forms of transportation with my new fella (pictured right).

Tune in next time,
Same Ranger time,
Same Ranger station.

YOU SAY POTATO.... I SAY POTATOE (PART 1)

So your wondering how in the world can vehicle shopping be remotely close to finding a life partner.  I know..... I too was quiet taken by surprise when I initially identified the quasi link. But the more thought I have given this, the more I think I am on to something.... and more importantly I think I have identified the missing link to finding my life partner.  So with out further ado here is what my extensive data collection and comparison have yielded so far.....

Commitment

Okay, so the word commitment has a way of striking terror in even the most mild mannered male/female.  Whether that commitment be to something as simple a vehicle or the ultimate plunge..... getting married.  God bless the vehicle manufacturers for recognizing that the topic of commitment can make some queasy and dare I say it weak in the knees.  They in their infinite wisdom decreed that what vehicle shoppers needed was options. The introduction of endless choices in makes, models, packages and ownership plans  allows even the most commitment phobic person to drive what they want, for as long as they want, without any feeling of buyers remorse.  

But the concept of wanting to experience something without committing to it, is not new.  It has been around since the dawn of time and is most prevalent in the human relationship domain.   I would hazard a guess that it was  Commitment Phob that came up with the concepts of vehicle rental and leasing.  

Three identified levels of vehicle commitment and how they correlate to their human relationship equivalents

Level 1

The entry level of vehicle commitment is the car rental.  The benefits of car rental is it lets you experience a lot of different types of vehicles and explore the pros and cons of each.  If the renter so chooses, they can use what they have learned from each subsequent rental to develop a comprehensive guide of traits and features the they want and expect in their next vehicle purchase.  The draw back of course is the renter can never call the vehicle their own, which does not allow them to get to know the nuances (good and bad) of owning said vehicle.  

Car rental is the equivalent of serial dating in the human relationship realm.  Now, some start off as a serial daters and use this time in their life to collect data on what they want from a relationship.  Others intend to stay in the realm of the serial dater, only to find "the one" that intrigues them so much they move to the next level of commitment.  Then there is the group that is content on staying in the safe zone of serial dating/one night stands/hooking-up forever.  

Level 2

The next step up from renting a vehicle is entering into a lease agreement.  In this scenario the leaser has thought carefully about the vehicle of their choice and is ready to commit...... but with a catch.  They want the option of opting out of the relationship in 3 to 5 years.  The leaser is using the specified lease time to reflect on their decision and determine if they made the right choice, see what issues arise and last but not least see if there is a newer better suited model for them at the end of the lease period.  

Sound familiar?  Yes this is the man/woman who has decided serial dating is no longer for them, they want to be exclusive with another, but still have the niggling doubt that maybe the one they have chosen is not for them.  They are consistently weighing all the signs, issues and good times trying to determine if they can continue to remain in the relationship, or, if they need to get the hell out of Dodge before their "lease" is up.  Some decide that they were correct in their choice and enter into a new found level of commitment at the end of the "lease" period. But many more decide that the "lease" is no longer for them for a variety of reasons.  These individuals do not pass Go or collect $200.   They instead:

• enter back into the realm of "car rental/serial dating"
• decide they are going to find alternative methods of transportation i.e. walking/biking/horse and cart (aka celibacy/self-exploration/alternative lifestyle, etc, etc)
• or they proceed right on to another lease/long- term committed relationship.
  

Level 3

The last level of vehicle commitment is out and out purchasing the vehicle.  This is the level of commitment that I am most familiar with and a strong advocate for.  Don't get me wrong there are risks and benefits associated with this level i.e. you could be buying something that ultimately may not fit your lifestyle..... it could be a lemon..... there will definitely be good times and bad times and believe you me the bad times will cost you a pretty penny i.e. trips to the vehicle doctor, car spa days and minor nips and tucks to keep the exterior looking new and shiny.  But in the end all the minor aggravations and associated expenses are worth it, as you  get to really know your vehicle. How it handles in rough conditions; the sounds and ways it lets you know when a visit to the mechanic is required; the memories that are linked with your vehicle (both good and bad).....the list could go on ad nauseum.  

In the human realm this level of commitment is found in long-standing relationships where the people involved may or may not be married.   These are the individuals who say for better or for worse and they mean it.  Not to say that their committed life is perfect.... just like in a committed vehicle relationship there will be expected ups and downs, times when you just want to leave them in the dust and times where it is better that you don't have contact. But when everything is weighed- good equals if not surpasses the bad, making it all worth the effort to keep the relationship alive.  

So what can we learn from this exercise in comparison.......  

• Know what level of commitment you are willing to invest in your vehicle purchases and human relationships.  
• Be up front with others regarding your intended level of commitment.
• Listen to what others are saying..... if she/he says they only want to "rent/serial date"..... BELIEVE THEM! Don't fool yourself into thinking you can change their mind.
• Level 3 commitment can be scary in both vehicle purchases and relationships... but in most cases the benefits far outweigh the risks.

So what other similarities are there between vehicle shopping and finding a life partner????

Tune in next time, 

Same Ranger time, 

Same Ranger station.

Life Lessons...... Kindly brought to you by Ford.

My Mamacita is fond of saying that the "Good Lord teaches us in mysterious ways."  Sometimes the lessons themselves are not as mysterious as the teachers who deliver the lesson.  Whoever would have thought that I would learn a major life lesson and a lot about myself from my Ranger, of all things.  

Curious?   Wondering what in the world the "Ah Ha" moment was?  Well aren't you lucky that I am in a giving mood tonight and won't keep you in suspense. The lesson was.......

  

"There are plenty of fish in the sea. "  

Now I know that you are probably thinking.... "Hello,  old news sista."  and that is so very true, but for me it was like a splash of cold water and has really made me start thinking about relationships or lack there of.

Confused?  

Good!  Now that you are questioning my sanity, your intrigue will spur you to read on.

For this all to make sense you have to know a little about me.  I am what you might call chronically single, for lack of a better term.  Now don't get all bleeding heart on me.  It is something that I have come to terms with and besides my "condition" provides me with a lot of time to pursue interests.  Normal things like reading, running, skiing and international espionage (caught that, glad to see your paying attention).   Besides, being spared relationship drama has done wonders in maintaining my youthful appearance...  I am really 65 years old!  Truly amazing isn't it!  

If you have never experienced chronic singledom,  you don't know that an amazing thing happens around year 6, or was that 7, I forget.  After years of looking for potential relationships around every corner and with every new person you meet, you just stop looking.  You become content in the one relationship you do have control over....  the one with yourself.   So although you meet people,  you don't expect anything because hey, your in a committed relationship already.  

Don't get me wrong, a relationship with yourself is not all roses and garden tea parties.  There are times when you don't like yourself, you feel your not good enough and your ready to throw in the towel and look for a new relationship.  This coincidentally usually occurs after visits home, when you have to face the firing squad of questions from your relatives, or, the weeks proceeding and following attendance at weddings.  But there is a silver lining.  As the years pass, family members give up asking and there have been amazing technological advances in pharmaceuticals to address "Weddingitis" (Kidding!).  

So, by the time you hit year 14, 15..... or say 20; singledom is old hat, something you are good. It also doesn't hurt that it feels as comfortable as your favorite pair of PJ bottoms.    This type of comfort is exactly what I have with the Ranger.  After 14 years of living together, I can tell just by the sound of the engine or the feel of the steering when Lil' Dude needed to visit the Truck Doctor.  Although my head occasionally turns to notice a random Sport Trac,  Titan, VW Bug or Jeep YJ, I have never taken it any further, as hey, I am happy in my current vehicle relationship.

The recent mechanical failings of the truck and the overwhelming number of choices that are available to look at and explore is what reawakened my interest in looking for a relationship outside of myself.  It also opened my eyes to the amazing similarity between dating, relationships and vehicle shopping.  The one benefit of shopping for a vehicle vs looking for a relationship is it is normally frowned upon to start searching for a new relationship when the old one is failing; but is highly encouraged and socially supported when your vehicle relationship is on the rocks.  

Will Max find the vehicle or man of her dreams?  

Tune in next time.

Same Ranger time, 

Same Ranger station.

Situation Critical......

Dec 2008 marked the turning point in my relationship with the Ranger.  Usually mild mannered and easy going he decided to go postal around Christmas and overheated.... it was a sight to behold... the hissing, the spitting.... definitely a Diva fit .  At first the mechanic thought it was a radiator leak but two litres of oil and a gallon of anti-freeze latter the he gently broke the news that it maybe more serious..... a cracked head gasket...... GASP!   

They continued on to say.... "You should probably start looking for a new vehicle."  I must admit my legs went numb and I was on the verge of tears and a full blown anxiety attack.  All I could say was "But I don't want a new vehicle", over and over again, as I slowly made my way outside, shoulders slumped and dragging my feet.  For the first three days just looking at the truck caused me physical pain and for once I was thankful I had the office to myself as I could give way to the tears that always inevitably came.

After Day 3 I decided enough was enough.... it was time to put the big girl panties on, suck it up and get serious about looking for my next vehicle, the only problem...... I had no clue what I wanted.  YIKES!!!

Will Max find a new vehicle before the old one passes or will she be destined for public transportation?

Tune in next time.......

Love at First Sight.....

It has taken me a while to come up with a topic to write about, but finally I have found one that I thought was important enough to document..... my 14-year relationship.  I could start the story at the end, but:

a) Where is the fun in that.

b) A little history never hurt anyone. 

c) Most importantly, to truly understand you need to know about how it all began.  

Besides beginnings always the best part of the story, aren't they?

I remember our first chance encounter, like it was yesterday.  It was a clear sunny day on the Prairies.  The type were only a few clouds are floating along in an ocean of the bluest sky, forming interesting shapes to entertain the masses.  It was a lazy day with no plans, no work, nothing to do and all the time in the world to do it in.  I had just finished University and had decided to take the summer off, my last hurrah before buckling down to a full-time job.   One of the benefits of my lack of life-plan was I got to spend more time with my Daddio, which lead the meeting of the love of my life or LOML.   

 

I know it sounds corny but as soon as I saw him I knew he was for me.  He had everything that I wanted.... rough, rugged on the outside, with a touch of softness on the inside.  The perfect mix of power and class... a real head turner.  When he spoke it reminded me of the soft hum of a kitten purring, and his smell.... ummmm that smell. 

The only problem- he was out of my class and it became apparent I was not the only one vying for his attention.  So I did something that I never do.... I threw caution to the wind and pounced. There was no thinking, no planning, definitely no pro and con list- just pure adrenaline pumping through the veins, heart pounding through the chest, action.  I decided on the spot that he would be mine at all costs and I won.  He was mine,  ALL MINE.... there was no turning back.  

I enjoyed the turn of heads as we passed by.  The admiring glances and the hint of jealousy in the eyes of the women, men and definitely the boys!  Who could blame them, we were the perfect match.  I knew just the sweet spot to hit to get him to change gears, he wooed me with the music that would become the sound track of our years together.  He never minded when others hitched a ride..... the more the merrier.  The Summer of '95 (hence referred to as the best summer of my life) was the start of it all.  

He helped me move to another province without a word and even endured my sister's and my Oprah worthy ugly cry, as the realization hit that it was not just another road trip, and I would not be returning back to the Prairies that I love.   He stuck by me as I forged a new life, in a new city and was there when I met new people.  He has been there through both the good and bad times, the ups and the downs.... my one constant in a new chapter of my life.  Without him I would have a hard time getting around in life as he is my truck-  Lil' Dude.  

What will become of Lil' Dude?

Will the relationship sever?

Tune in next time......

Same Ranger time......

Same Ranger station.......